Wondering what the Bible says about how to stop comparing yourself to others?
Fortunately for us, God’s word has plenty to say about it.
We humans have struggled with comparison and jealousy since the beginning of time.
Literally the very beginning.
Hence, the Cane and Abel sitch.
That’s why Jesus Christ came and died for the forgiveness of our sins.
All of us humans are a hot mess, but He loves us and promises to help us.
So trust me, you’re definitely not alone in this.
By the power of the Holy Spirit, You can and will overcome this.
Let’s get into the good stuff…
In this post, we’re getting into:
- The Comparison Game
- The Hidden Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others
- 5 Bible Based Steps for ditching the Comparison Trap (Bible Based Tips)
- Bible Verses about how to stop comparing yourself to others
- Bonus: Free Phone Wallpapers (Download to your phone for a daily reminder that you are enough)
Note: There are plenty of great posts on the internet that focus on why comparing yourself to others is sinful (which it is). This isn’t one of those posts. I’ve felt the pain of always feeling less-than, and this post is for the woman who is dealing with that pain right now. The goal of this post is to help you see yourself like God sees you and to give you practical steps to stop comparing yourself to others.
The Comparison Game
Does this sound familiar?
You’re scrolling through social media and within minutes you’re hyper focused on all the ways someone else’s life appears better than yours.
There’s seemingly no end to all the women who:
- Are more fit than you and have “an amazing” body
- Have the “perfect” husband, kids, home, etc…
- Are rocking their careers and having great success
- Seem to have the most amazing social life
The list goes on forever and a day…
You find yourself comparing yourself to other women all the time.
And every time you do it, it leaves you feeling like you’re not enough.
The crazy part is that although it only hurts you, it’s hard to stop.
You find yourself doing it all the time.
That’s what I call the comparison game.
Or more accurately, the comparison trap…
The Hidden Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others
Staying in the comparison trap can only lead to more anger, frustration, doubt, and low self-esteem.
Comparing yourself to others consistently is one of those things that can slowly erode your self worth and self esteem over time.
It can erode your confidence and keep you blind to all the things God has graciously gifted you with.
I say this all the time, but when the enemy attacks your identity, it’s because he’s trying to steal your purpose.
The Holy Bible says that you were created with purpose and on purpose.
The best thing you can do is surrender your struggle to Christ Jesus.
Pray and ask God to help you see yourself the way He sees you.
That’s the key to being your best self and reaching your highest potential.
In addition to that, comparison breeds jealousy.
It’s a hindrance to your spiritual development and leads you down a path of sinful thoughts.
That’s why we’ve gotta deal with this, right here and right now.
You’re risking way too much by continuing to stay in the comparison trap.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (Bible Based Tips)
Now that we know how dangerous the comparison trap is, let’s talk about how to stop comparing yourself to others.
The 5 Tips I’m sharing with you are the same ones I used.
It helped me go from hating myself and comparing myself to other women all the time, to being able to appreciate and value myself and others.
I’ve been able to ditch jealousy, grow spiritually, and move beyond many of my insecurities.
It’s helped me to love God and others more.
Now, I still have moments where I struggle with those things, but it’s no longer something I deal with all the time.
If you commit to doing this process continually, I’m confident you’ll be able to break free from the comparison trap as well.
And in each step you’ll get some insight into what the Bible says about comparing yourself to others.
Ready? Okay, let’s jump in.
1. Be honest with yourself and with God
The first step to solving any problem is admitting you have one.
The same is true here.
When it comes to a sensitive topic like this, it can be hard (and downright embarrassing) to be raw and honest about your struggle.
But it’s the truth that will set you free sis.
🙏🏾 | “But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. ” (James 3:14 | NLT)
If you can’t be honest and real with God and with yourself, who else can you be honest with?
And believe it or not, it’s the grace of God that actually allows us to be in circumstances that will reveal what’s really in our heart.
🙏🏾 | For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. (Hebrews 4:12 | NLT)
He doesn’t do it to shame us, but to convict us and lead us into His correction.
🙏🏾 | Matthew 12:35 (NIV) says, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”
Take an honest look at yourself.
Don’t condemn yourself.
The purpose of this is just to identify the problem.
To put things in perspective, answer these reflection questions (I recommend journaling your answers):
- In what areas do I compare myself to others?
- How do I feel after comparing myself to others?
- In what ways does continually comparing myself to others affect me?
- Why do I consistently compare myself to others?
- How will my life be better after I learn to stop comparing myself to others?
Take some time and really think about the answers to these questions.
Answering these questions will help you:
- Go deep and really get to the root of the issue.
- Discover that “thing” that’s gonna motivate you to commit to this journey even when it gets hard and uncomfortable.
2. Pray and ask for help
Next you’re gonna take all of this to God in prayer.
This isn’t a battle you can fight on your own.
🙏🏾 | Proverbs 3:5-6 tell us, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
As Christians, we have the benefit of having a heavenly Father who loves us and who wants to help us.
We can confidently take every burden, every care, and every issue to God in prayer.
And we can trust that our prayers don’t fall on deaf ears.
He’s willing and able to help you through this.
🙏🏾 | “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7 | NLT)
When I committed to giving this to God, I prayed that He would help me:
- See myself through His eyes
- Be more like Him
- Replace negative beliefs about myself with Biblical truths
- Celebrate other people instead of being jealous of them
- Stop myself when I started comparing myself
- Trust Him to help me in this journey
Don’t just pray about this once.
Every time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone, that’s an opportunity for you to pray about it.
And there’s something super powerful about using God’s word to help you pray.
I’ve found that whenever I continuously invite God to help me with a situation, it helps me make more progress with less frustration.
3. Get Your Tools in Place
In addition to prayer, you want to find other tools to help you stop comparing yourself to others.
Choose the resources and tools that work best for you.
Here are 5 of my favorite tools to help you quit comparing yourself to others:
1. Practice gratitude daily:
🙏🏾 | James 1:17 (ESV) says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
When you’re tempted to feel like God is holding out on you, remember this…
Every good thing in your life is from God.
Spend time consistently throughout the day finding things to be grateful for.
What are the things about yourself, your family, and your life that you are truly thankful for?
Gratitude is a mood booster.
And the more time you spend focusing on what you do have, the less energy you have to focus on what you don’t have.
2. Speak Affirmations of God’s Word
Your words have power.
They can build up, or they can destroy.
If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you’re probably also speaking harshly about yourself or others.
That has to stop sis.
🙏🏾 | “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” (Proverbs 18:21 | NLT)
Speaking God’s word over yourself can help you keep your mind fixed on walking in the righteousness of God.
🙏🏾 | Romans 8:4-5, says this, “He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”
Speaking the Word of God over yourself will also help you become secure and confident in who you are in Him.
And this goes without saying, but we’re not talking about vanity.
We’re talking about confidence rooted in all the wonderful things God says about you.
🙏🏾 | 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT) – This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
Let your words about yourself reflect what He says about you.
Here’s a list of 100 Confidence Boosting Affirmations for Women
3. Surround yourself with positive reminders:
Fill your space with things that remind you of your commitment.
From quotes, wall art, bible verses, and inspirational phone wallpapers – find the things that will reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
Commit to doing a Bible Plan on the Youversion App, or getting a daily devotional to help you in your journey.
4. Choose new beliefs
What are some of the beliefs about yourself that cause you to compare yourself to others.
What are the areas in which you feel inadequate or jealous of others?
Choose new beliefs to replace those negative beliefs.
These Bible Verses are the perfect place to start.
5. Change and let go
Some of this journey is spiritual, and other parts may be practical.
Identify the things you have the power to change.
For example, let’s pretend you’re constantly comparing yourself to women who are more fit than you.
If so, ask yourself what you can start doing today to get in the best shape possible.
Work on those things.
Change what you can.
Then recognize the things that are out of your control and practice letting it go.
Using the same example, let’s pretend that you think women who have an hour glass body shape are prettier than you.
You can’t change your body shape.
That’s genetic and it’s out of your control.
No amount of working out will change your DNA.
You can however, set out on a mission to appreciate your body type.
For example, one of the practical things you can do is learn how to dress in way that accentuates your best features.
You can also pray and ask God to help you find things to appreciate about the way He made you.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the world’s standard of beauty, that we don’t recognize the beauty God gave us.
4. Acknowledge and Celebrate Your Wins
Breaking bad habits and creating new habits isn’t easy.
However, this is where a little positive reinforcement comes in.
You can motivate yourself to keep by going by continuously celebrating your wins.
Your decision to stop comparing yourself to others is a win…
Your commitment to taking action to change is a win…
Anytime you choose a new belief over old negative beliefs, it’s a win…
You won’t change completely overnight, so set realistic expectations for yourself.
You’re after progress, not perfection.
Recognizing each time you make a step forward can help keep you from getting discouraged and quitting.
Bring those wins before God each day as you practice gratitude.
Acknowledge His help and thank Him for it.
5. Renew Your Commitment Daily
Changing your mindset is a day by day journey.
Use the tools that you chose in step 3.
Take some time to think about how you can integrate those tools into your daily routine.
Pray about this daily, as many times a day as you need to.
Celebrate your wins every day.
Learning how to finally stop comparing yourself to others requires spiritual, and personal development work.
The good news is that the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
God bless you beautiful!
w/ light and love,
Matthew 5:14 – You are the light of the world. And like a city on a hill that cannot be hidden.