Ready to stop comparing yourself to others?

I’m here to help you do just that.

In this post, you’re learning:

  • The Comparison Trap
  • The Hidden Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others
  • My 5 Step Process for ditching the Comparison Trap
  • Bible Verses about how to stop comparing yourself to others
  • Bonus: Free Phone Wallpapers. Download to your phone for a daily reminder that you are enough (scroll to the very bottom of the post to get the wallpaper)

Ready? Let’s do this sis…

This post may contain affiliate links. Our disclosure policy is a snooze fest, but feel free to check it out here.

 

The Comparison Trap

Does this sound familiar? You’re scrolling through social media and within minutes you’re hyper focused on all the ways in which other people’s lives appear better than yours.

There’s no end to all the girls who:

  • Are more fit than you and have “an amazing” body
  • Have the “perfect” husband, kids, home, etc…
  • Are rocking their careers and having great success
  • Seem to have the most amazing social life

The list goes on forever.

You find yourself comparing yourself to other women all the time, and every time you do it, it leaves you feeling like you’re not enough.

The crazy part is that although it only hurts you, it’s hard to stop.

You find yourself doing it all the time.

That’s what I call the comparison trap.

 

The Hidden Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others

Staying in the comparison trap can only lead to more anger, frustration, doubt, and low self esteem.

Comparing yourself to others consistently is one of those things that can slowly erode your self worth and self esteem over time.

It can erode your confidence and keep you blind to your gifts, talents, beauty, and purpose.

I say this all the time, but when the enemy attacks your identity, it’s a sign that he’s trying to steal your purpose.

I know that you were created with purpose and on purpose.

Your ability to see yourself the way God sees you is key to being your best self and reaching your highest potential.

In addition to that, it breeds jealousy. The Comparison Trap is a hindrance to your spiritual development and leads you down a path of sinful thoughts.

That’s why we’ve gotta deal with this, right here and right now.

You’re risking way too much by continuing to stay in the comparison trap.

 

Note: There are plenty of posts on the internet about why comparing yourself to others is sinful (which it is). This isn’t one of them. I’ve felt the pain of always feeling less than, and this post is for the woman who is dealing with that pain right now. The goal of this post is to help you see yourself like God sees you and to give you practical steps to stop comparing yourself to others.

 

READ THIS NEXT: Feeling Insecure or Self Conscious? Do these 5 things




 

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Now that we know how dangerous the comparison trap is, let’s talk about how to stop comparing yourself to others.

The 5 Step Process I’m sharing with you is the same one I used.

It helped me go from hating myself and comparing myself to other women all the time, to being able to appreciate and value myself.

I’ve been able to ditch jealousy, grow spiritually, and move beyond many of my insecurities.

Now, I still have moments where I struggle with those things, but it’s no longer something I deal with all the time.

If you commit to doing this process continually, I’m confident you’ll be able to break free from the comparison trap as well.

Ready? Okay, let’s jump in.

 

1. Be honest with yourself and with God

The first step to solving any problem is admitting you have one. The same is true here.

When it comes to a sensitive topic like this, it can be hard (and downright embarrassing) to be raw and honest about your struggle.

But it’s the truth that will set you free sis.

“But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying.” (James 3:14 | NLT)

If you can’t be honest and real with God and with yourself, who else can you be honest with?

Give yourself to take an honest look at yourself.

Don’t condemn yourself. The purpose of this is just to identify the problem.

 

Reflection Activity

To put things in perspective, answer these reflection questions (I recommend journaling your answers):

  1. In what areas do I compare myself to others?
  2. How do I feel after comparing myself to others?
  3. In what ways does continually comparing myself to others affect me?
  4. Why do I consistently compare myself to others?
  5. How will my life be better after I learn to stop comparing myself to others?

Take some time and really think about the answers to these questions.

Answering these questions will help you:

  1. Go deep and really get to the root of the issue.
  2. Discover that “thing” that’s gonna motivate you to commit to this journey even when it gets hard and uncomfortable.

 

2. Pray and ask for help

Next you’re gonna take all of this to God in prayer. This isn’t a battle you have to fight on your own.

As Christians, we have the benefit of having a heavenly Father who loves us and who wants to help us.

We can confidently take every burden, every care, and every issue to God in prayer. And we can trust that our prayers don’t fall on deaf ears. He’s willing and able to help you through this.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7 | NLT)

When I committed to giving this to God, I prayed that He would help me:

  • See myself through His eyes
  • Be more like Him
  • Replace negative beliefs about myself with positive ones
  • Celebrate other people instead of being jealous of them
  • Stop myself when I started comparing myself
  • Trust Him to help me in this journey

Don’t just pray about this once.

Every time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone, that’s an opportunity for you to pray about it.

I’ve found that whenever I continuously invite God to help me with a situation, it helps me make more progress with less frustration.

 

READ THIS NEXT: How to Trust God When You Have Low Self Esteem 




 

3. Get Your Tools in Place

In addition to prayer, you want to find other tools to help you stop comparing yourself to others.

Choose the resources and tools that work best for you.

Here are 5 of my favorite tools to help you quit comparing yourself to others:

1. Practice gratitude daily:

Spend time consistently throughout the day finding things to be grateful for.

What are the things about yourself, your family, and your life that you are truly thankful for?

Gratitude is a mood booster. And the more time you spend focusing on what you do have, the less energy you have to focus on what you don’t have.

2. Speak Positive Affirmations

Your words have power. They can build up, or they can destroy.

If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you’re probably also speaking harshly about yourself or others. That has to stop.

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” (Proverbs 18:21 | NLT)

Positive affirmations are an awesome way to establish self worth and confidence.

And this goes without saying, but we’re not talking about vanity. We’re talking about confidence rooted in all the wonderful things God says about you.

Remember, God didn’t make any crap. Let your words about yourself reflect what He says about you.

Here’s a list of 37 Self Esteem Affirmations + A guide on how to create your own personalized affirmations.

3. Surround yourself with positive reminders:

Fill your space with things that remind you of your commitment.

From quotes, wall art, and inspirational phone wallpapers – find the things that will reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.

4. Choose new beliefs

What are some of the beliefs about yourself that cause you to compare yourself to others. What are the areas in which you feel inadequate or jealous of others?

Choose new beliefs to replace those negative beliefs.

 

5. Change and let go

Identify the things you have the power to change.

For example, let’s pretend you’re constantly comparing yourself to women who are more fit than you. If so, ask yourself what you can start doing today to get in the best shape possible.

Work on those things. Change what you can.

Then recognize the things that are out of your control and practice letting it go. Using the same example, let’s pretend that you think women who have an hour glass body shape are prettier than you.

You can’t change your body shape. That’s genetic and it’s out of your control. No amount of working out will change your DNA.

You can however, set out on a mission to appreciate your body type. For example, you can learn how to dress in way that accentuates your best features.

 

4. Acknowledge and Celebrate Your Wins

Breaking bad habits and creating new habits isn’t easy.

However, this is where a little positive reinforcement comes in. You can motivate yourself to keep by going by continuously celebrating your wins.

Your decision to stop comparing yourself to others is a win. Your commitment to taking action to change is a win. Anytime you choose a new belief over old negative beliefs, it’s a win.

You won’t change completely overnight, so set realistic expectations for yourself.

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

You’re after progress, not perfection.

Recognizing each time you make a step forward can help keep you from getting discouraged and quitting.

Bring those wins before God each day as you practice gratitude. Acknowledge His help and thank Him for it.

 

5. Renew Your Commitment Daily

Changing your mindset is a day by day journey.

Use the tools that you chose in step 3. Take some time to think about how you can integrate those tools into your daily routine.

Pray about this daily, as many times a day as you need to.

Celebrate your wins every day.

Learning how to finally stop comparing yourself to others requires spiritual, and personal development work.

The good news is that the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

 

10 Bible Verses to Help You Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

The Bible has plenty to say about comparing yourself to others.

Humans have struggled with comparison and jealousy since the beginning of time. Literally. Hence, Cane and Abel.

So trust me, you’re definitely not alone in this. You can and will overcome this.

The bible  verses below remind us of 2 very important things:

  1. God created you and He doesn’t make junk. Allow Him to help you see yourself through His eyes.
  2. Comparison leads to envy which is a stumbling block in our Christian life. We can’t allow it to continue unchecked.

 

5 Bible Verses: God created you wonderfully

Psalm 139:14 – “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

Jeremiah 1:25 – “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

Isaiah 64:8 – “And yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand.”

Genesis 1:27 – “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

 

5 Bible Verses: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Philippians 2:2-4 – “Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Galatians 6:4-5 – “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”

James 3:16 – “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.”

Proverbs 14:30 – “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.”

1 Corinthians 3:3 – “for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world?”

* All Bible Verses were taken from biblehub.com and are the NLT Translation.

 

Comparing Yourself to Others (Free Phone Wallpaper)

I keep positive reminders (usually in the form of quotes) all around me. On my desk, in my phone, in my bedroom.

It’s especially helpful when I’m trying to renew my mind in a specific area.

Because we use our phones so much, I’ve created these free phone wallpapers for you. I hope they encourage you in your journey to stop comparing yourself to others.

Each time you look at them, I pray you’re reminded that…

 

1. You are enough, just as you are. God didn’t make any mistakes when He made you. You don’t need to be anyone else. This world needs YOU.

Download Wallpaper

 

 

2. You are beautiful just the way you are. Commit to discovering, recognizing, and appreciating your unique beauty, both inside and out.

Free Phone Wallpaper that says "hey queen you are beautiful". Created for Blog Post on how to stop comparing yourself to others

Download Wallpaper

3. The choice is yours today and everyday. Choose to find things about yourself to appreciate. Practice seeing yourself through your Creator’s eyes. Choose to love and be gracious to yourself today and everyday.

Free Phone Wallpaper that says "choosing to love myself everyday". Created for Blog Post on how to stop comparing yourself to others

Download Wallpaper

What’s your commitment?

Alright Queen, we’ve made it this far. Phew, deep breaths.

I know that was a lot, but the truth is that it’s just the beginning.

You’ve decided that you’re going to stop comparing yourself to others. Now, what?

What actions are you committing to take daily to help you on this journey?

I want you to know that I believe in you and I believe in the God who created you. You can and will overcome this with His help.

Just know that I’m praying for you.

I’d love to hear from ya so if you have questions or comments, drop ’em below!

 

w/ light and love,

B-Whyte-Signature

Matthew 5:14 – You are the light of the world. And like a city on a hill that cannot be hidden.

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