I feel lost in life- 7 things to help you cope

by B. WHYTE
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girl standing on rail road tracks holding suitcase Trying to drive home blindfolded…

That’s exactly how it can feel when you’re feeling lost in life.

Sure, you know where you are physically, but the real pain here is feeling unsure about the direction your life is heading in. Siri, can you help us out?! 😫

If you’ve been down this road, then you know exactly what I mean.

I found myself feeling this way a few weeks ago and it sucked.

Having made it through that little detour, I’m back on track. But that experience reminded me of a few important lessons that always help me see the light whenever I’m feeling lost in life.

 

“Ugh, I feel lost in life.” Here’s why…

If you’re in this place then chances are that in some way you’re feeling a disconnect between where you are and where you’re going.

Think about it.

When you’ve gotten physically lost before, you likely had 1 of 2 problems (maybe both):

  • You didn’t know where you were
  • You didn’t know how to get where you wanted to go

Lots of things can leave you feeling lost in life, but it’s important to know why exactly you feel that way.

If you don’t know what the root of the problem is, you can’t address it. Makes sense, right?

 

Ask these 3 questions when you feel lost in life

To get to the root of your feelings, you’ve gotta ask yourself some questions.

Here are 3 questions you can ask. (They helped me get clearer on how I was feeling.)

  1. Why do I feel this way? (For every answer you give to this question, ask yourself ‘why?’ at least 3 more times)
  2. When did I start feeling this way?
  3. When was the last time I felt certain about the track I was on? (Did anything change between then and now?)

BTW, Journaling is a great way to force yourself to take time to answer those questions.

When I journal, I usually find myself writing things I wasn’t even consciously aware of.

After getting those thoughts out of my head and onto a sheet of paper,  I usually feel like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulder.  Hear me when I say, “give journaling a try!”

 

3 things that can leave you feeling lost

There are 3 things I’ve come across that can usually leave us feeling this way:

 

1. Your beliefs/goals are shattered/challenge

A change in your belief system or goals, especially one that was caused by something outside of your control, can rock you to your core.

For example, I had a friend who always wanted to be a lawyer… until he became one. The idea he had about what it’d be like when he was a lawyer, was way different than the reality.

Spending your whole life wanting or investing your energy into something, only to discover that it’s not what you thought it’d be, can be devastating.

Devastating enough that it changes the path that we were on.

Related Post: Love Note to Queen feeling disappointed by God

 

2. You’re not where you want to be in your career/life

This one has me written all over it.

I’m 31 and I always thought that by this stage in my life…

➡️  I’d be married

➡️  Have at least 2 kids

➡️  Have a couple of homes (including rental props

➡️  Have a career that I love (obviously making 7 figures. lol)

And, that is NOT my reality yet.

I’m married, but the rest of those things have yet to be accomplished.

I struggled (and sometimes still struggle) with feeling like a failure because of it.

I keep reminding myself, and today I’m reminding YOU, that just because the journey takes you on an unexpected path, doesn’t mean you won’t reach your destination.

As hard as it is when you find yourself in this place, you can reevaluate your goals and change them.

Or, extend grace to yourself while you continue working on achieving them.

 

3. You feel like you don’t know who you are or what you want

You change, you grow, and sometimes it happens so quickly that you don’t even realize what’s happening!

And it’s beyond hard, dare I say impossible, to be confident in the direction you’re heading when you don’t know what direction you want to go in.

I grew up holding some very negative beliefs about myself, feeling extremely insecure.

What I wanted from my life was impossible to achieve based on what I believed about myself.

Talk about an identity crisis.

Often times I think these moments are a gift.

They remind us to reevaluate ourselves and what we’ve been doing so we can make conscious decisions about what we want to do differently.

 

Want to revisit this later? Save this pin please

girl standing on rail road tracks holding suitcase

 

7 things you can do when you’re feeling lost in life

Once you’ve figured out why you’re feeling lost, what’s next?

Here are 7 things I learned to help you out of that rut:

1. Get inspired

Read, get out into nature, look at inspirational videos on Youtube…

Go to the places and do the things that inspire you most.

If you don’t know where to find your inspiration yet, experiment and explore. You’ll learn a lot about yourself along the way.

 

2. Get different perspectives

You’re not the first person to go through what you’re going through. Getting a different perspective on things can spark ideas, give you a new outlook, and give you some direction.

 

3. Break down your feelings by asking why

I am a HUGE fan of asking myself “why?”. I’m always surprised at how much is buried beneath my conscious thoughts.

Doing this consistently can help you discover your truth. And the truth always has a way of setting us free.

 

4. Explore and experiment

“To get something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” – Thomas Jefferson.

Sometimes a new level of clarity, a new outlook, and a new perspective can be found when you get out and do something new.

Pick up a new hobby, speak to new people, push yourself outside of your comfort zone.

You’ll probably be surprised by just how much those new experiences can help shake things up for you.

 

5. Get decisive

Sometimes you’ll find yourself feeling lost because you haven’t been decisive.

The main reason I was feeling lost was because I felt trapped in a job I hated, simply because I was too scared to do what I was passionate about.

I’d been sleeping on the vision God had given me for my life.

Feeling lost was my wakeup call and I realized that I had to commit once and for all to do the work I felt called to do.

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.” —Tony Robbins

 

6. Clear your mind

When your mind is all over the place, you have to be extra intentional about getting to a space where you can think clearly.

Go for a walk, do something that relaxes you, journal – whatever helps you to silence the noise in your mind. With a clear mind, you’ll make better decisions.

 

7. Talk through your feelings

If you have a close circle of people who love you and will be honest with you, talk to them.

Often times they can see things that you can’t.

I thank God for the small circle of people who always have my back. But in addition to talking to them, I pray.

This is without a doubt the one thing that helps me reign in my emotions so I can get some clarity. If you’re interested, there’s a prayer at the end that you can use if you’re struggling with feeling lost.

 

5 Reminders/Quotes for when you feel lost in life

If you’ve been around my blog for more than a few minutes, you know that I love quotes.

They’re bite sized pieces of inspiration that I can recall in a moments notice. Here are 5 quotes that help me when I’m feeling lost.

  1. “Just because the journey takes you on an unexpected path, doesn’t mean you won’t reach your destination.” – Bernadette Shepherd-Whyte

  2. “God’s plan for your life doesn’t change no matter what you’ve done” – Nicole Crank

  3. “You may feel lost and alone, but God knows exactly where you are and He has a good plan for your life.” – Unknown

  4. “You’ll be fine. Feeling [unsure] and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.” – Louis C.K.

  5. “If you feel lost, it is because your mind and heart are not in harmony. When they work together, you will find peace”. – Unknown

 

A Prayer for when you feel lost in life

Like I said, prayer has gotten me through even the worst times of confusion and fear.

I’ve always been able to find peace, clarity, and hope when I take my problems to my creator.

If you’re struggling with feeling lost, here’s a prayer for you:

Dear God, 

Thank you for the plans you have for me. I thank you that your plans are to give me a hope and a future. Thank you that no matter where I am, no matter how lost I feel you, you never lose sight of me. I ask Lord that your clarity and peace would wash over me. Help me to find confidence in knowing that you’ve got me covered. Help me to hear your still small voice. And when I hear to obey.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

The Last Thing You Need to Know

Girlie I want you to know that you’ll get through this.

You’ve dealt with other challenges before and you’re still here. This one is no different.

Lean on God, do your part, and trust that it’ll all work out… And, it will all work out.

Comment below to inspire another queen or get some encouragement (I try to reply to every comment).

  • Have you struggled with feeling lost in life?
  • What’s one thing that helped you get over it?

Sound off in the comments below.

Until next time!

w/ light and love,

 

 

 

xx- Berni

Matthew 5:14 – You are the light of the world. And like a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. 

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